A Few After.....

A few minutes after his birth.....
I could hear his announcing scream.
I couldn't believe he was finally here,
The realization of my dream.

A few hours after his birth.....
I held him so close to my chest.
Somehow that little boy let me see,
A special love that never left.

A few days after his birth.....
I held his tiny little hand.
I told him there would be lots of things
That I would help him to understand.

A few weeks after his birth.....
He had that sparkle in his eyes,
And when he showed me that little smile,
I thought that I would surely die.

A few months after his birth.....
He was just beginning to learn.
He didn't like me to go away,
And he cried until I returned.

A few years after his birth......
I still couldn't believe he was mine.
We talked and laughed and went for walks.
We had so many special times..

A few after.....

A few minutes after his death.....
I didn't know I needed to scream.
I thought that he was still safe and here...
I didn't know the truth of my dream.

A few hours after his death.....
I felt a strangeness within my chest.
Something was wrong that I couldn't see.
God! I didn't know that he had left.

A few days after his death.....
I held his cold and lifeless hand.
There were just so very many things
That I could not fully understand.

A few weeks after his death.....
That sparkle stolen from my eyes,
No longer to see his beautiful smile.
I never, ever thought that he would die.

A few months after his death.....
There was so much I needed to learn.
I was confused when he went away,
And I still waited for his return.

A few years after his death.....
I still wish that he could be mine,
To talk and laugh and go for walks.
I miss those special moments in time.

A few after.....

A few minutes after MY death......
Once again I will hear him scream,
"Hey Mom, it's me, I'm over here,
And Mom, this time it's not a dream."

A few hours after MY death.......
I'll hold him close again to my chest.
He'll look at me and say... "Now see?",
It doesn't seem so long since I left."

A few days after MY death.....
He will gently take me by the hand,
And show me all the glorious things,
And help me to understand.

A few weeks after MY death.....
I'll see that sparkle in his eyes.
Once again he'll warm me with his smile,
And say... "You see, Mom, I didn't die".

A few months after MY death.......
Together we'll have so much to learn.
We'll never have to go away,
Or long for each other's return.

A few years after MY death.....
Forever he will always be mine.
We'll talk and laugh and go for long walks,
Because we'll have nothing...... but time.

~ by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
© 2003 - Christine Ross
revised 2007





How Long Will The Pain Last ?

"How long will the pain last?"
A broken-hearted mourner asked me.
"All the rest of your Life,"
I have to answer truthfully.

We never quite forget.
No matter how many years pass, we remember.
The loss of a loved one is like a major operation.
Part of us is removed, and we have a scar
For the rest of our lives.

As years go by, we manage.
There are things to do, people to care for,
Tasks that call for full attention.
But the pain is still there, not far below the surface.

We see a face that looks familiar,
Hear a voice that echoes,
See a photograph in someone's album,
See a landscape that once we saw together,
And it seems as though
A knife were in the wound again.

But not so painfully,
And mixed with joy, too,
Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow;
It brings back some happiness with it, too.

How long will the pain last?
"All the rest of your life."
But the thing to remember
Is that not only will the pain last,
But the blessed memories as well.

Tears are proof of life;
The more love, the more tears.
If this be true, then how could we ever ask
That the pain cease altogether?
For then the memory of love would go with it.
The pain of grief is the price we pay for love.

~Author Unknown





Grieving in Silence

Why must I grieve so silently
When my heart is loudly screaming?
The emptiness I feel consumes me.
O God! How I wish I were dreaming!

The silence around me is deafening,
For no one knows what to say
To comfort this pain I am feeling
Since my sweet son went away.

Each day the sun continues to rise,
And the earth - it still is turning;
Though my world has come to a screeching halt,
Nobody can ease my yearning.

For a part of me has vanished,
And a part of my heart has died,
And no one can hear my heartache
Or feel my turmoil inside.

So I'll go on grieving in silence
And exist on a separate plane;
I'll keep my love for him deep in my heart
Till we see each other again.

~Author Unknown





Why?

Perhaps one day weíll understand
Why God decided to take your hand
And lead you into Heaven above
Surrounded by His tender love.

Never does a day pass by
That we donít ask the question"Why?"
Why did God take our precious son?
Was it something we had done?
We hope to face the Lord one day
And ask Him why you couldnít stay
On earth with those who loved you so,
Those who wanted to see you grow.

We mourn for the things that will not be,
For the things with you, we'll never see,
The fun and games we'll never share,
For special times when you won't be there.

No more to see your smiling face,
Nothing will ever take your place.
In our hearts you will always stay,
While we await that "One Sweet Day."

That "One Sweet Day" in Heaven above,
Where we will meet and affirm our love.
Once more our arms will hold you tight,
As in God's presence we'll reunite.

Until that day, we must live our lives
Ensuring each memory of you survives,
And feel your presence, ever near,
Each time we shed a painful tear.

"See you in Heaven," you'll hear us say,
As you watch over us every day,
Then when our lives on earth are done,
We know you'll be the one to come.

You'll take us gently by the hand,
And lead us to God's Heavenly land,
Where all together we will be
Our, once more, happy family.

~Bea Brunton





Gone Are the Days

Gone are the days we used to share,
But in our hearts you are always there;
The gates of memory will never close,
We miss you more than anyone knows;
With tender love and deep regret,
We who love you will never forget.

"Let it not be said my life was in vain;
I've just moved on to a higher plane,
So I can keep better watch over you,
As you move on the way you need to do.
Though my short life has reached an end,
I'm waiting for you around the bend.
I beg you-- please don't weep for me!
It's not so bad, for soon you'll see
That I will linger long past this sunset
In the hearts of you who love me yet."

~Author Unknown





Remembrance

Remembrance is a golden chain
Death tries to break,
but all in vain.

To have, to love, and then to part
Is the greatest sorrow of one's heart.
The years may wipe out many things
But some they wipe out never,
Like memories of those happy times
When we were all together.

~Authur Unknown





Forget Me Not

Forget me not,
For I am there
In the beat of your heart,
On the wing of your prayer.

Forgive me my parting
And leaving you thus;
A joyous reunion
Is waiting for us!

Continue to strive
Toward your goal and be brave;
Know that my love
Didn't stop at the grave.

My spirit is with you
Through good times and bad;
I share all the joys
And the sorrows you've had.

Feel my presence
Within your next breath,
And realize
There's no distance in death.

Ask for my help
And I'll answer your call;
Reach for my hand
When you stumble and fall.

Run the last mile
With a smile on your face;
My arms will be waiting
When you finish the race.

Always remember,
My love is right there--
In the beat of your heart,
On the wing of your prayer.

~Author Unknown





No Words

When I tell you that my heart still hurts,
You don't know what to say.
When I tell you that my eyes still cry,
You look the other way.

How could you know the pain I have,
And the sorrow that I feel?
For you haven't lost a precious child,
So for you, this isn't real.

I can't really say that I blame you,
For I was once like you.
I would turn my head and walk away,
Not knowing what to do.

But now I know, oh, how I know
What another mother feels!
For only when you have lost your child,
Do you know this pain so real.

This painful loss that bereaved moms share
Brings us closer in our hearts.
Now when we meet and share our child,
We are friends right from the start.

Joy Curnutt





The House Is Empty Now

The house is empty now, and so am I.
The silence is all around me
and penetrates my every step.
If I listen to music, it pierces my soul
and brings up tears on its way out.

I see his picture on several walls,
giving a momentary glow
to days gone by, filling those rooms
with loveís reflections, as I pass through.

I go out and return, but the routine and the voices
beyond this place cannot come back with me.
I am stripped and searched at the door,
humbled as I lean upon the entrance way.
I may only take the emptiness in.

That doesnít seem necessary,
since it abides here anyway.
The house is empty now,
and so am I.

~Reverend William E. Gramley





One Day Closer to You

I sometimes ask the Lord
Why He took you before me,
And though He's never answered-
I guess it was meant to be.

I tell myself you're watching,
That you're never far away;
I sometimes feel the slightest touch
When I bow my head to pray.

I know heaven must have a window
With no curtain to hide the view,
I know you must stand there often
And watch me missing you.

I know you're helping me go on--
You're guiding me through the pain;
I somehow sense you're telling me
There's more sunshine now then rain.

Each new day now dawns with meaning--
Something inside of me rings so true,
Today will slip into yesterday
And I'll be one day closer to you!

~Rhonda Groves





Go ahead and mention my child,
The one who died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further,
The depth of my pain doesn't show.

Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.

I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.

You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine."
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.

~Elizabeth Dent





My Son

Twilight draws ever closer
Through the window pane;
I look to heaven in hopes to see
Your smiling face again.

Memories, sweet memories
Are what keep you near;
These I treasure with all my heart--
I hold them all so dear.

Remembering the love we shared
And how it was taken away;
We never got to say goodbye
On that fateful day.

One day we'll be together again--
As I gaze up to the sky,
I thought that I could see you there,
Learning how to fly.

~Lian Gell





Donít Think I Do Not Grieve

Donít think I do not feel;
Because you see no tears.
A river rages deep inside
Of grief, and loss, and fears.

Just because I do not cry now,
Donít think my heartís not broken.
I keep inside the misery
Of words not to be spoken.

Sometimes I smile, or crack a joke,
So you wonít see the pain;
Or notice how my hands still shake,
Or how Iíve gone insane.

Each time I chance to think of him,
My heart is ripped asunder.
The loss I feel is mine alone--
You will not see my thunder.

~Brenda Penepent





I Lost My Child Today

People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
To try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief.
I lost my child today.

I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away.
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream;
This can't be real--I want to scream!
Yet everything is locked inside.
God, help me, I want to die.
I lost my child last month.

I lost my child last year.
Now people who had came, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my child last year.

Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time,
The song is the same, as is the rhyme,
I lost my child......Today.

~Netta Wilson





Time

I thought that time was healing
All the hurt you left behind,
That empty spaces could be filled--
My arms, my heart, my mind;
And though my body looks the same
As it did when you were here,
The emptiness is growing
Even bigger with each year.

I thought that time was healing
All the agonising pain,
That as the tears were fading,
Soon I wouldn't feel the same.
And though I can be smiling
And you think that I'll survive,
The pain is in my blood now;
I have nowhere else to hide.

I thought that time was healing
All the loss a mother feels;
That now you live within my heart,
I had you near me still.
But I need so much to touch you,
To see you smile again,
And those memories I'm told are mine
Can never feel the same.

I thought that time was healing
All the while the mask was worn,
That underneath a new me
Was waiting to be born.
But now I find I am the mask;
It helps to keep me safe,
And though my heart is breaking,
You won't see it in my face.

I thought that time was healing
All those tears my eyes have seen,
That aching arms that miss you
Could be satisfied with dreams;
But here I am, in pain again
And healing stands alone.
A mother weeps, the world can see
For a son who can't come home.

~Sue White





Death is nothing at all...
I have only slipped away to the next room...
I am I and you are you...
Whatever we were to each, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak it to me in the same way you always used.
Put no difference into your tone,
Wear no false air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the ghost of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident.

I am but waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near....
Just around the corner.
All is well.

~Henry Scott Holland 1847 - 1918
Canon of St Paul's, London













Image used is by artist John William Waterhouse,
{British 1849-1917}

Created with love for My Robbie by Saralyn