When Sadness Comes 

When life brings untold sadness,
Is different than we've known,
We wonder just how we'll make it,
How we can carry on.

We try to hold our heads up and,
Make it through the day.
But we are oh so sorrowful!,
As we try to make our way. 

Sometimes we hurt so much inside,
We can't seem to find relief,
Especially when alone with our tears,
There's nothing but our grief.

Just know that Jesus loves us,
He knows about our pain.
If we open up our heart to Him
He'll help us smile again. 

If we turn our eyes upon Jesus,
And His promises we claim,
When shadows of the evening come.
Grief will not remain.

We'll find Him in the morning light!,
And feel His presence there.
He's there for us with open arms
And for us He will care. 

Used With Permission

Missing You

A year has come and gone now
Since you had to go away,
And I am not the same Mom
You used to see each day.

My face is stiff and frozen,
To try to hide the pain,
But oft my eyes betray me,
For my tears still fall like rain.

I try to go on living,
For my precious family's sake,
But no one knows I spend the nights,
Tossing, wide awake.

It seems the world has changed, too,
The colors all seem dull,
And everything seems empty,
Like a sunken liner's hull.

I try to wear a smile sometimes,
To make them think I'm fine,
But if they look into my eyes,
They see a different sign.

For emptiness pervades me
And sadness fills my life,
Though I do my best to hide it
And cover up my strife.

Somehow this anniversary
Makes your loss seem much more real,
Though I've spent the last year trying
To deny and not to feel.

I know you're happy, Robbie,
You're well and healthy, too,
But I can't help the way I feel,
For I am missing you.

I don't know how I'll stand the years
That stretch before me now,
I'll have to trust in Jesus' love
And treasure His sweet vow

That someday I will get to go
To heaven where you are,
And once again I'll hold you,
My precious, shining star.

Loving You and Missing You with All My Heart,
Mom - Saralyn McAfee Smith

A Year Later

Am I different now?
Sometimes it seems that way--
That I have only one identity:
A mother who has lost a child.
Do others think of me that way, too?
The pain has seared my very soul
And left scars on my psyche.
Do they show?
Do strangers mark me as one who mourns?
I do sometimes laugh now,
But I never truly forget.
I remember HIS laughter
And wish I could hear it once more.
I feel guilty whenever I forget for even an instant
That he is gone and will never come back.
But my heart goes on beating
And my lungs go on breathing
And the days go on passing,
One by one.
I begin to take small pleasures,
Just baby steps at first--
Sights or sounds or colors or tastes.
But soon I am running again
And sometimes I even feel joy.
Then I remember
What joy HE always found in life,
And then I don't feel guilty any more.
I can almost see him smile
As I finally learn this lesson.

Saralyn McAfee Smith, Forever Robbie's Mom

(Written in March, 2001, one year after Robbie died.)

Thank you, Beth, Hayes' mom, for this beautiful gift!

Thank you, Karen, Geoff's mom, for this lovely gift!

Thank you, Christine, Deborah's mum, for this wonderful gift!

Thank you, Susie, Jason's mom, for this beautiful gift!

Thank you, Donna, Corey's mom, for this lovely gift!

Music playing is "Missing You," copyright 2004 by Bruce DeBoer,
and is used with the permission of the composer.